How Songwriting Has Healed My Pain and Allowed Me To Grieve

By Bailey Kent

"The one good thing about music is when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley

Notes on “Judy” : When I wrote “Judy”, I was overwhelmed with memories I had with my Nana. Her presence was warm and peaceful. I was reminded of her energy, the way she shared herself with others, and how she did so with such ease. She passed away after an intense battle with cancer. Throughout the entirety of her journey, she never complained and lived peacefully and lovingly. We live in a world so full of love, and that was my Nana. She truly did put everyone around her above. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude as I sit here and reflect on all of the things Judy embodies and all that she has done for me. Life and having the ability to love is the greatest gift of all, and if I have learned anything from my Nana it is to just love. Love big, far, and wide. Love unconditionally. Love more than you know. “Judy” is a song for and about my Nana, and is a song filled with and driven by love and the beauty of life.

Judy Lally at the beach. Green Harbor, MA.

Writing Judy: When I lost my Nana, one of my best friends, I truly didn’t know how I could move forward, and I am still figuring this out today. I thought of ways I could mourn the loss of such an incredible soul, surround myself with friends and family, those who knew her well. I also knew I could turn to music, an outlet that I have relied on for years. She loved to hear me sing, play the guitar, perform, she was my number one supporter. I thought of ways I could express myself and how I was feeling. For some, journaling, meditation, there is a wide variety of coping mechanisms we can do as individuals to take time to reflect and process our emotions. Songwriting and music seemed to be the natural thing that I turned to. Following the passing of my Nana, I wondered of things throughout her life she had done, from start to finish, things that were driven by passion & love. I also wondered about things she may have still wanted to do that she loved. I love music, I’ve always gravitated towards it. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always gravitated towards music. Growing up, my dad filled car rides with beautiful songs from a variety of artists/bands. He introduced me to stuff he listened to as a kid, The Police, Van Halen, and The Talking Heads. I quickly grew curious to the abundance of unique sounds that were so new and fresh to my ears. The language of the music was refreshing and inspiring. Since then, I’ve found myself trying to create music that tells stories. This is what inspires me the most, sharing moments over the years that have transformed me to think, feel, act differently about myself in the world. In one way or another, I hope people may be able to relate to or find peace in my lyrics when they listen. I’ve always loved the stories that were told by those artists in their lyrics. This is what I’ve tried to do in my songwriting and in “Judy”. Tell stories of different stages I’ve found myself inspired to write music over the years. I’ve captured moments in my writing that have transformed me to think, feel, act differently about myself in the world.

Songwriting has proven to be a tool for people to promote inspirational and insightful change in their lives. An article written by Amy Cermack from Florida State University states how music and songwriting can have an incredible impact on individuals’ anxiety, depressions, and quality of life. Following writing “Judy”, I have noticed a shift in my perspective on grief and loss. I’ve been told by many, “don’t smile because they are gone, smile because they were here”. That has spoken volumes throughout this process of mourning the loss of my Nana, and other loved ones close to me. Songwriting has allowed me to see this and vocalize it in a way that is healing for me and the ones who have also lost people close to them. Songwriting is a powerful vehicle for healing and finding solace in one’s life, it has brought that to me in a meaningful way.

Nana, I love you more than you know.